Finally I Know What I Want

Simplicity. Comfort. Solvency. Love. Health. Fulfilment.

These six things, I feel they will give me the equilibrium to respond positively to changes that will inevitably come. Happiness, even.

Because, I’m choosing to be happy. Like you, I was born that way, and so many good things have happened to me in the last 57 years, they massively outweigh the bad. I’ve had fantastic relationships, visited and lived in amazing places, witnessed incredible progress in the world around me. Life, so far, has been dazzling.

But now I finally feel able to make definitive choices, and to cut the clutter.

I’ve stopped wasting time, and I pay less and less attention to anything that doesn’t contribute to those six things that sustain me.

What does this mean, in practice, and how does it contribute to my resilience?

  1. I have less stuff. Objects, possessions, gifts – ideally, I’d like to cut down the clutter to say, 100 objects. If I don’t use it, I lose it. This applies to books, tools, clothes, shoes. My garage is emptying fast. I’ll keep things that are essential to everyday life, but no more. I’m working on that, I’ll keep you posted.
  2. I’m lucky to be settled in quiet rural town, I’ve been here for 20 years now, our house is big enough, it keeps out the rain. That gives me enormous comfort, because I don’t feel like I want to be any other place.
  3. None of us earns enough, but so long as I can break even, I’m happy. I’ve noticed that the people I know who make really good money are usually away from home, stressed and unhappy.
  4. Love is at the core of my life and all my key decisions are based on looking after the relationships that sustain me. It gives me purpose.
  5. Health is obviously an issue for me, post-Sepsis syndrome is still a factor, I work every day to keep on top of my mental health. But that’s a positive. I feel like I’m in touch with myself.
  6. Being able to speak at meetings and events about my experience through resilience gives me a huge sense of satisfaction and fulfilment.

Don’t get me wrong, there are things I would change if I could, but recognising that these key elements of my life give me the chance to be happy, is very important. It’s where my resilience comes from, when challenges intervene.

I found myself in a strange situation this week.

Sitting in a café, writing, I was suddenly surrounded by a group of about 30 people, standing close by, holding some kind of work review. Talking over me, trapping me. To be honest, I felt a little panicked by it, it was so unusual. But instead of bristling, getting into conflict, I simply stood up, slipped away for 5 minutes, then returned when they were gone.

As often these days, I knew exactly how to behave, and what I wanted. Space, time, a chance to withdraw, then to start again later.

Do you know what you want, and what you need right now?

Have a happy week everybody.