5 ways to feel OK after a setback


When life doesn’t go to plan, or an unexpected turn of events knocks you back, it can make you feel shocked, desperate, unsure and isolated. Coping can be difficult. Here are 5 simple ways to react and to help you preserve your resilience:

Don’t be the strong silent type 

It’s only natural to run for cover when disaster strikes, and to disconnect. But the truth is, none of us can go it alone. We can try, but we’re bound to fail. The smart reaction is to find a trusted friend, someone who won’t judge you, and to meet for coffee. If you bury your feelings, if you try to build over them, they’ll come back to destroy you later. Or worse, they’ll eat away at you, over time. Speak up, be brave, say the words.

Look for the upside     

OK, something took you by surprise – but, really, is it so much of a disaster? Granted, there are some situations where we need critical professional help. We know that bereavement and illness can be cruel on the mind and body. But in general, we can be grown-ups about it, we can dust ourselves down and carry on. In these situations, positive thinking needs to become a habit. Every event brings change, and change can bring opportunity – so let’s keep looking for the little upsides.

It’s a long and winding road 

Life’s good. Mostly in life, we get second chances and it’s comforting to remember that. On earth, we’re surrounded by billions of people and the majority all have our very best interests at heart. By keeping this in mind and making our best efforts to connect with other people, we’re likely to stumble upon happiness sooner rather than later. In the meantime, we should take every chance we can to laugh and to see the beauty of the world that’s here, all around us.

But they did me wrong 

They did, quite possibly. Stuff happens. I’m sorry. It’s perfectly human to feel like you have someone to blame. But think about how many wonderful, kind, sincere, loving, creative people have lit up your life in the past. Think about what their goodness means to you, how it’s inspired and motivated you. All those people are still out there, wishing you well, hoping only the best things for you. You’re rich, in that way, and that fact deserves your full daily attention. Maybe you could think of ways to pay those people back, and complete the virtuous circle?

It’s a brand-new day and the sun is rising

Look out the window. Didn’t you notice? Being alive is such a privilege, it’s like a miracle. If we’re disciplined about it, we can control the way we feel about our own situation. We have the option of how we think about our lives – no one else decides, it’s completely up to us. We can put our past mistakes and disappointments behind us, we can live with what we’ve got, we can be happy. Let’s get out there and let’s enjoy the treasure.

Have a great week.